{"id":1924,"date":"2017-11-18T09:00:24","date_gmt":"2017-11-18T09:00:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/new_thereporter\/2017\/11\/18\/fair-sex-and-harassment\/"},"modified":"2017-11-18T09:00:24","modified_gmt":"2017-11-18T09:00:24","slug":"fair-sex-and-harassment","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thereporterethiopia.com\/1924\/","title":{"rendered":"Of the fair sex and harassment"},"content":{"rendered":"

A year or so back there was this spectacle in a crowded street in Addis. The middle aged man was walking with a relatively younger woman towards the Arat Kilo area, and almost every thirty seconds or so he either slapped or punched her. Just like that! She didn\u2019t make the slightest sound, or even tried to resist. It was as if she was complying with the ruling of some court which gave her husband he right to beat her for a couple of months. Many people were horrified at this utter barbarity, and the anger was so intense one would think a lynch mob would be formed any minute. But, no one interfered. No one told the guy, \u201cYou can\u2019t do that to her!\u201d Well, a guy beating up another woman doesn\u2019t seem to be much of a headline grabber around here. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe people were saying to themselves\u2026 \u201cHe must be very much in love with her.\u201d The underlying logic being he beats her only because he is jealous; and he is jealous means that he loves her! So beating up a lady was supposed to be the highest form of expression of love. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe must have caught her cheating on him.\u201d  <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, women like men who beat them up.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe must be her husband; what if he beat her once in a while!\u201d <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Of course, there wasn\u2019t any once-in-a-while the way the guy was hitting her! And, somewhat, his hands appeared larger than life. Maybe he found some major fault in her actions! So, who is anybody to tell him to stop! One seventyish old man did exactly that; <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy are you hitting her? Aren\u2019t you ashamed of yourself?\u201d One thing the man wasn\u2019t was, ashamed! The Good Samaritan was, in fact, told not to interfere by none other than the lady herself!  It was something which defied explanation. I mean already her pretty face was turning purple and she didn\u2019t want others to come to her rescue! That wouldn\u2019t make a good Hollywood pilot. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The past few weeks we\u2019ve been hearing about cases of sexual harassments elsewhere in the world. It seems the celebrities and those in power simply couldn\u2019t tame their hands to stay away from the skirts of unwilling women. The Harvey Weinstein guy could have made jaws drop at the scale of his decades-old sexual harassments on aspiring and established actresses. His story seems to have let the cat out of the bag. Sexual harassment allegations are dogging even the British parliament. What! What about all those matter-of-fact stern facial expressions we see on TV?  The sex scandals we are hearing are providing us with a glimpse as to how some of the people turning and twisting the knobs of this world think and act.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Even the former FIFA boss Sep Blatter\u2019s name making the list of the accused! What a story! If the American\u2019s women\u2019s team goalie\u2019s accusations are true it is indeed a very disturbing pattern. Incidentally, a couple of years back there was talk of sexual harassments (of course, few, if any used the equivalent Amharic term for \u2018sexual harassment\u2019) in our athletics world. The story went on that when it came to women athletes, they don\u2019t only need skills and stamina; they have to match their passion for athletics with the sexual passion of some of the men. Like many things, we never saw the climax of the allegations. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe it is high time we really looked into our own situation. We don\u2019t need inspiration another Clara Zetkin or some namesake to tell us that we have to stop the tide of sexual harassments before it turns it some uncontrollable storm surge. One doesn\u2019t have to travel far, or peep through keyholes to witness abuses against the women; the streets of Addis would provide the perfect showcase. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Once in a while we hear audible noise about addressing the problems women are facing. Passionate speeches, determined vows, no-nonsense slogan; one would think that the days of the macho man were numbered and come morning all those wife-beaters and harassers would be bundled away to some far away land.  Finally, justice would be served!  With all those sexual harassers out of the picture, this world would be a far better place! So would go the wishful thinking.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But, don\u2019t close the book yet. All the passions of the day time workshops or whatever would be drowned in pints of whiskey and vodka at the evening\u2019s cocktail party. Of course, a meeting or workshop without a cocktail party as the climax would be a non-event! During the day it is about the ordeals about the womenfolk are facing and in the evening it is about the mini-wars that would irrupt in quite many bedrooms.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

We\u2019ve heard of guys in the US who thought their better half\u2019s chin was there for the taking, and ended up on the wrong side of the law. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey, you can\u2019t even touch her, let alone knock her around the house!\u201d \u201cBut, she is my wife!\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo what? She is your wife, not your slave!\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve the right to do whatever I like. I can kick her or kiss her whenever and wherever I like.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNot here. You can\u2019t even lay a loving finger on her if she doesn\u2019t want you to do so.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat! What kind of a country is it where your wife says no to you and you could do nothing about it!\u201d <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

There was a famous joke during the military junta. This woman comes home and asks her husband something like \u201cHow about you and me getting in bed and you know what\u2026\u201d The guy wasn\u2019t in the mood. \u201cNot today, I\u2019m not on the mood,\u201d he says. She tries you convince him but he seems to be suffering from bad testosterone deficiency and he stands fast in his refusal. But she insists and he sticks to his refusal. The final words go to her;<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cEven if you don\u2019t want to do it, you\u2019ll be forced by the kebele<\/em>!\u201d Ha!  Now, wasn\u2019t that a real revolution! Of course if things were like they\u2019re today the man would have shouted, \u201cThis is sexual harassment on me by my own wife!\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Look, if finger-pointing sees the light of day here, if abused women rise up in arms and the culprits recoil into their caves, ours would be the only country in the world where the ratio of women to men in the streets would be some a hundred to one or so. Did I hear someone say \u2018exaggeration?\u2019 But it isn\u2019t? Just take a closer look at the expense of losing a few heartbeats.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

We really have a long way to go. Despite all the rallying calls of the last four decades so, our women are still treated with disrespect and arrogance. These days even the kids barely ten or eleven make cat calls, and you see no one trying to pump some discipline into them.  The truth is even the adults, some of whom could boast of many decades of existence, act exactly the kids. Even those who consider themselves learned and fine-polished act like some village tug who pulls at every skirt which comes within grasp. So we do have serious problems. With so many so-called \u2018civilized\u2019 guys, who think they can make a punching bag out of their better half, the climb towards a more caring society would prove a very steep one.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Contributed<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A year or so back there was this spectacle in a crowded street in Addis. The middle aged man was walking with a relatively younger woman towards the Arat Kilo area, and almost every thirty seconds or so he either slapped or punched her.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"editor_plus_copied_stylings":"{}","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1946,1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-1924","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-touch-and-go","7":"category-uncategorized"},"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thereporterethiopia.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1924","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thereporterethiopia.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thereporterethiopia.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thereporterethiopia.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/10"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thereporterethiopia.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1924"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.thereporterethiopia.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1924\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thereporterethiopia.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1924"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thereporterethiopia.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1924"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thereporterethiopia.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1924"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}